Leadership and Personal Growth Lessons from Being a Big Brother

Being a Big Brother, whether as a volunteer or to my own half-brother, has been one of the most fulfilling roles in my life. It’s not just about being there for someone younger but also about discovering how much you grow in the process. Here are some of the most impactful leadership and personal growth lessons I’ve learned along the way.

1. Active Listening Builds Trust and Understanding

Kids are entertaining, often surprising, and incredibly imaginative. Spending time with my “Little” has taught me the value of truly listening—not dismissing their thoughts as childish, but engaging with their point of view. You’d be amazed at the creativity and perspective they bring to the table when given the chance to share.

Building trust with a child, however, takes time. It doesn’t happen overnight. For my “Little,” trust came slowly, through simple conversations during shared activities like playing sports. Over time, these moments of connection gave him the confidence to open up more, and I learned to appreciate the power of patience paired with consistent, genuine dialogue.

Leadership Insight: Building trust as a leader isn’t about grand gestures. It’s about listening, showing up consistently, and meeting people where they feel most comfortable.

2. Patience and Consistency Are Key to Growth

If there’s one thing kids teach you, it’s patience. They might forget something you’ve explained five times, or they don’t quite grasp a concept immediately. And that’s okay. They’re learning, and as adults, it’s our job to meet them where they are. They don’t expect perfection; they just want someone who keeps showing up.

The most crucial lesson I’ve learned is that kids don’t just need your time; they need quality time. Being fully present—not on your phone, not distracted—is how you earn their trust and create lasting bonds. What they truly value is your consistency and authenticity.

Leadership Insight: Great leaders don’t give up on their teams. Continue to show up, provide steady guidance, and offer patience when others are still learning.

3. Celebrate Small Victories to Cultivate Confidence

One of the biggest reasons kids hesitate to try new things is their fear of “messing up.” My “Little” and half-brother were both nervous about playing sports or doing pull-ups when they first started. But with patience and encouragement, they not only tried but improved. I always made sure to point out their progress—not just in skills but in resilience.

For example, my “Little” now grabs his mom’s 5-pound dumbbells to do bicep curls, inspired by seeing me do crazy pull-ups at the park. It’s a small routine, but the confidence it builds is big. Growth begins when they reflect on their progress, however small it may seem.

Leadership Insight: Recognizing and celebrating small milestones can motivate people, encouraging them to grow and push beyond their comfort zone.

4. Being a Positive Role Model Creates Long-lasting Impact

Kids don’t just hear what you say; they watch what you do. Leading by example has been the most important role I’ve taken on. For both my half-brother and my “Little,” I’ve seen how simply living my values has inspired them. Whether it’s working out, eating healthy, or staying disciplined, they’ve picked up habits because they see that I’m consistent.

For instance, my half-brother started eating steak and working out because he sees me prioritizing my health. My “Little” also became curious about pushups and lifting small dumbbells simply from seeing me enjoy exercising at the park. The message is clear when it’s incorporated into play and fun rather than feeling like a chore.

It reminded me that if I want them to adopt a healthy, active lifestyle, it’s my responsibility to demonstrate not just the “what” but also the “why” behind it.

Leadership Insight: Be the kind of leader who controls the narrative through action, not just words. Authenticity and integrity create the strongest influence.

5. Helping Others Helps You

One of the most surprising lessons of being a Big Brother was realizing how much it helped me. Coming from a broken family where my dad wasn’t always around, I want to be the father I didn’t have. Serving as a Big Brother has been like practice for when that time comes. It’s taught me patience, kindness, and how to be consistent in ways I never experienced growing up.

On a personal level, it’s given me purpose during my darker days. I deal with anxiety and depression, and sometimes life can feel overwhelming. But knowing that my “Little” and half-brother rely on me encourages me to take care of myself. They’re always watching, and I want them to see strength, presence, and emotional balance. At the same time, spending time with them gives me a healthy break from work. It allows me to enter “play mode,” disconnect from stress, and be fully present, which is hugely therapeutic.

Leadership Insight: Leading others requires you to lead yourself first. When you care for your own well-being, you’re in a better position to guide, uplift, and inspire others.

6. Leadership is Action, Not Virtue Signaling

Today, there’s a lot of noise about leadership. People talk a lot about values and making a difference, but often, it’s just words with no follow-through. I’ve learned that true leadership happens when you take action.

With every week of showing up for my “Little” or guiding my half-brother, I’m reminded that leadership is built on reliability and sincerity. It’s about being someone they can count on and modeling behavior that inspires character and growth.

Leadership Insight: Real leaders don’t just talk; they act. Authentic leadership comes from “doing” and creating meaningful change for those who look up to you.

Final Thoughts

Being a Big Brother has transformed how I view leadership and personal growth. It’s a reminder that even the smallest actions can have profound impacts on someone else’s life. And in the process of being there for others, you end up growing yourself.

To anyone hesitant about taking on a mentor or leadership role, my advice is simple: Take the first step. Show up consistently, stay patient, and lead by example. You might just inspire someone younger to become the best version of themselves while discovering new strengths within yourself. That’s the beauty of being a Big Brother ❤️