Nic’s No-Nonsense Guide to Modern Dating: Level Up, Don’t Settle
"Nic’s No-Nonsense Guide to Modern Dating: Level Up, Don’t Settle"
Introduction
Hey there, I’m Nic—a 30-year-old personal trainer, entrepreneur, and someone who’s spent most of his adult life single. While some people see being in a relationship as the ultimate goal, I see things differently. For me, the goal isn’t to be in a relationship—it’s to live a life of fulfillment and purpose, whether you’re with someone or not.
In this blog, I’m sharing my take on modern dating, how to level yourself up, what I look for in a partner, and some fun tips to keep things light. Whether you’re single, dating, or in a relationship, there’s something here for everyone. Let’s get into it.
1. The Superpower of Being Okay Alone
Let’s start with a hard truth: too many people are scared to be alone. They jump into relationships because they need outside validation or can’t handle their own company. But here’s the thing—being okay on your own is a superpower. When you don’t need a relationship, you’re free to choose one because you want it.
This mindset shift is huge. It means you’re not settling for “good enough” or staying in a relationship out of fear. Instead, you’re investing your time and energy into yourself, building a life you love, and waiting for someone who truly adds value to it.
How to Level Up This Trait:
Practice self-reflection: Spend time alone and get to know yourself—your values, goals, and what truly makes you happy.
Pursue your passions: Whether it’s fitness, art, travel, or starting a business, dive into the things that light you up.
Build a strong support system: Surround yourself with friends and family who uplift you, so you’re not relying on a partner for all your emotional needs.
2. What I Look for in a Partner (And How to Attract Yours)
For me, a great partner brings peace, shares similar goals, and supports my dreams. It’s not just about the good times—it’s about how we handle the bad times together. I value someone who’s health-conscious, values freedom and autonomy, and would make a great mom (because I’m all about that future family life).
But here’s the thing: everyone’s different. My advice? Figure out your top three “must-haves” and your top three “deal-breakers.” The rest? That’s where compromise and communication come in.
How to Level Up This Trait:
Define your values: Write down what’s most important to you in a partner and a relationship. This clarity will help you recognize the right person when they come along.
Be the person you want to attract: If you want someone who’s fit, driven, and kind, make sure you’re embodying those traits yourself.
Work on your communication skills: Great relationships are built on open, honest communication. Practice active listening and expressing your needs clearly.
3. Modern Dating: Easier to Start, Harder to Maintain
Dating apps have made it easier than ever to get a date, but they’ve also made it harder to build something real. Why? Because there’s always another option just a swipe away. It’s analysis paralysis—too many choices, not enough commitment.
My advice? Don’t just go on a date because you can. Make sure you have some common interests and clear intentions first. And remember, it’s better to find out sooner rather than later if someone’s not right for you. Four dates are better than four months—or worse, four years—of wasted time.
How to Level Up This Trait:
Be intentional: Before swiping or saying yes to a date, ask yourself: Does this person align with my values and goals?
Set boundaries: Don’t let dating apps consume your time or energy. Use them as a tool, not a crutch.
Focus on quality over quantity: Instead of going on endless dates, invest in getting to know a few people deeply.
4. Be the Catch: Leveling Yourself Up
Here’s a hard truth: if you want to attract someone amazing, you need to be amazing yourself. Leveling up isn’t just about looking good—it’s about becoming the best version of yourself in every area of life.
How to Level Up Your Life:
Health and Fitness: Take care of your body. Exercise regularly, eat well, and prioritize sleep. A healthy lifestyle isn’t just attractive—it’s a foundation for a fulfilling life.
Career and Finances: Build a career you’re passionate about and take your finances seriously. Financial stability is sexy.
Personal Growth: Read, learn, and challenge yourself. A growth mindset keeps you interesting and ensures you’re always evolving.
Hobbies and Passions: Pursue the things you love, whether it’s cooking, traveling, or volunteering. These make you a well-rounded, interesting person.
5. Fun Tips for Dating and Life
Dating doesn’t have to be so serious. Here are some fun tips to keep things light:
Be playful: On dates, practice being silly and engaging. Make the other person feel like the most interesting person in the room.
Flirt in everyday life: Build your charisma muscle by practicing small, fun interactions with people. The more you do it, the more natural it becomes.
Reframe your words: Instead of saying, “I hate it when you don’t shave,” try, “I love it when your face is smooth—it’s so sexy.” Same message, but way better vibes.
Be yourself: Drop the masks and be authentic. You’ll find out much faster if someone’s a good match for you.
6. The Best Relationships Are Built on Growth
The best relationships are partnerships where you build, grow, and support each other. Your strengths should complement their weaknesses and vice versa. You should be each other’s biggest cheerleaders, always encouraging each other to be the best versions of yourselves.
And remember, secure attachment styles might seem “boring,” but they’re the foundation for long-term success. Drama might be exciting in the short term, but peace is what lasts.
How to Level Up This Trait:
Practice gratitude: Focus on the positives in your relationship and express appreciation often.
Learn conflict resolution: Disagreements are inevitable. Learn how to navigate them with empathy and respect.
Invest in your partner’s growth: Support their goals and dreams, just as you’d want them to support yours.
7. Final Thoughts: Know Your Worth
At the end of the day, dating is about finding someone who adds value to your life—not someone who drains it. Be patient, be intentional, and don’t settle for less than you deserve.
And if you’re single right now? Embrace it. Use this time to level up, chase your dreams, and build a life you love. The right person will come along when you’re ready—and when they do, you’ll be more than ready to meet them as your best self.